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Saturday, November 13, 2004

Smiley Goes to Vipassana

You? Vipassana? Are you sure? Mr. Sharma enquired.
Hold on dude, I told my friend on my mobile, turned towards Sharma and gave him this Duh look. Why do you think I drove all the way to here and filled in this silly application form?
Do you know anything about Vipassana? Sharma enquired further.
Dude, I will call you back. I told my friend and gave this give me a break dude look to Sharma and told him. Yeah I know everything about Vipassana, Dalai Lama, Buddha and Angelina.
Who is Angelina?
Did I say Angelina? I meant Leela. She is friend of mine. She took this course.


Sharma looked very unconvinced.

For the first time I realized that admissions are not automatic and not granted. I need to pass through Sharma's scrutiny. I became very nervous. I already bought four oversized Jockey Underwears for this meditation thing. I am not going let them go waste.

I put my mobile in silent mode and sat a little erect.

A lot of young men like you (thank you baseball cap) walk in and they get disillusioned in no time. Sharma said. Besides they end harming themselves by developing this intense negative feeling about the whole thing. Do you know what it is like to spend ten full days at Vipassana? Its not a vacation. You will working intensely for ten hours a day for full ten days. Everything you see, feel, eat will be against your will. Some times a minute lasts for days.

Bah, I endured a flat chested, whining, crying chick for a month. Everything was against my will. I can do this. Besides if Fairy can do this, why cant I?
Who is Fairy?
Did I say Fairy? I meant Leela. She is a curious chick. If she sees a road, she will definitely cross it. Ha ha ha.

Sharma threw my application into a dustbin.
I got extremely nervous. Now what am I going to do with those oversized underwears?

Look Mr err...Smiley, Vipassana is not fun, its not an adventure, its not cool, it needs total dedication, hard work and submission of your will.
Sounds like me.
No, of course not. I have been practicing Vipassana from the past twenty five years. I have seen thousands of people. I know. I dont want to judge you, but please think about the whole thing again.

Dude Sharma, you will regret this moment for the rest of your eventless life. You are denying Vipassana an oppurtunity to get in touch with Smiley. You are coming in between a historic and momentous moment. Can you tell me that I am not going to be the next Buddha? You cannot.
By denying the oppurtunity you proved yourself to be judgemental. Which means, you are still judging events, people. You are still associating them with your self, ego and past. I would say you wasted twenty five years of your life.

I added, What I said about you is true. So , its going to hurt your ego. You havent conquered your ego. Instead of admitting the fact that you were judgemental, you are going to deny my admission. Good bye Sharma.

Sharma, took the admission out fo the dustbin, he turned it over and jubiliantly said, Ha! You need to be introduced by an old student. No one introduced you. So I cant let you in.

Hope beckoned. I immediately took my mobile. She this Rani Mukharjee I told you about did this post after she did her Vipassana. I read it. It is technically as good as being introduced by her.
Rani Mukharjee did this course? Where?
I meant Leela. She is a good friend of mine. You can see
, I showed him the SMS I sent to Leela that morning
Happy Diwali :-)
and Leela's reply to it
Stop bothering me :-(

Sharma very reluctantly gave me a confirmation. Two female foreign (British) students walked in. One of them said, I need to check my email. Sharma didnt understand a thing and said ya ya.
She went into the computer room. Sharma longingly looked at her. See, videshi vanita she is, she is been living here from three months. What dedictation? What dedication? He looked at me and asked. What do you think?
I looked at her and said
Yeah, nice butt.

I shook Sharma's hands and said, Thanks for letting me in, you will be proud of yourself in very few days. Sharma looked a little nervous and a lot worried.

P.S: What do you think? If Sweetie Lee can do it, I cant do it-aa?
My course starts from Nov 15 and ends at Nov 26th.
May the smiling buddha emerge. :-)
May you all live in peace.

1 comment:

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