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Thursday, October 28, 2004

So, my Grandma was right

A male Homo floresiensis returns from the hunt. Found on the island of Flores in Indonesia, these ancient humans grew no taller than a three-year-old modern-human child. Their small size led scientists to nickname the species "hobbits," after the tiny Lord of the Rings characters. The first such individual found was female. Since then at least seven individuals have been found, including males.

The archaeological find will be featured in a National Geographic Channel program to air in early 2005.

Illustration by Peter Schouten

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

A dinner that never was.
Ek Chicken Biryani aur Do Kingfisher.

After a long time Eddie and his wife Gello invited me and Dimmy for a dinner.

Dimmy and I went. Eddie's 12 months kid Cheddi embraced, kissed and gladly welcomed us in. Gello said Hello. Dimmy and I praised her kindness and her saree. We admired her beauty and remarked how lucky Eddie was.

Gello smiled till her lips touched her ears. She asked us to be comfortable and went into the kitchen to make an additional dish for us. Eddie, Dimmy and I were watching cricket on TV while the kid tried to draw our attention to him. We ignored him. The kid went into the kitchen and started bothering Gello. Gello came out and asked Eddie to put the kid to sleep. But Eddie was too busy watching cricket. So I took up the job. I told the kid a story. I told the kid how a sparrow makes its nest. I told him about the mating calls made by frogs, by making those sounds. He laughed and laughed and suddenly fell asleep. Proudly I handed him to Eddie.

Eddie went inside his bedroom and put the kid on the bed. He annouced, Gello, I put the kid to sleep. Gello shouted back, Be careful. Watch him. He rolls in his sleep. We were back to watching cricket. Gello would shout from the kitchen every two minutes, Are you watching the kid. Eddie would shout back, Yes and Eddie would run into the bed room to check the kid. It went on for about twenty minutes. I got tired of Eddie and gave him a brilliant idea.

Why dont you put pillows on both sides of the kid and save us from this disturbance? Eddie beamed and did exactly that. By then Gello finished making Chicken biryani, Raitha and went onto making Sambar and papads. India was winning. Gello would shout from the kitchen every two minutes, Are you watching the kid?. Eddie would just sit in chair and shout back Yes and then would give me that you are my best buddy look and then I would nod back in agreement.

It went on for another ten minutes.

Then we heard this sickening thud. Yeah the thud of a soft baby's head falling from a good three and half feet high and hitting the marble below is sickening. It took Eddie couple of seconds to register what had happened. His face went extremely pale after he realized. He jumped into the bedroom. Dimmy and I got suddenly uncomfortable. With in couple of seconds we heard the kid crying at the top of his whatever little lungs.

I went into the bed room for the rescue. The kid thing totally turned red and opened his mouth so wide crying, I could see the food he had for dinner. Eddie was shivering. We came out of the bedroom and my legs trembled when I saw Gello.

Gello looked pure anger. Her nose turned red. Her face turned red. Her eyes turned red. She was so angry that she was gasping for air. She hissed Give me the kid and snatched the crying kid from Eddies hands. Eddie became clueless.

Wow! I didnt know he can roll over a pillow. Ha ha ha. He said.
You son of a triggerless gun. You good for nothing couch potato. All you ever do is sit and watch that stupid TV. There isnt a thing that you can ever do right. Gello shouted.

We were least prepared for this outburst. Eddie couldnt stand this humiliation right in front of our eyes. His macho image crumbled like a crumbling sand castle. He got angry but had the sense to not to show it.

He said something like, He is my son. He is strong enough. When I was kid I fell from a two storied building.
Ok, now we know why your brain is half dead. If you ever fucking call him your son again, I am going to kill you. You never was a good husband. You never talk to me. The only thing that ever matters to you is your office, your friends, your stupid cell phone and cricket. I cant stand this anymore. I am leaving. Sob sob.

Eddie looked half dead for sure.

Then I made my move. I said, Gello, pillow was my idea. Not Eddies. Its my fault. Wow, look the kid stopped crying. Now can we just move ahead and enjoy that biryani? smells so good.

She simply said, No biryani for you.
I looked at Eddie. Eddie looked at Dimmy. Dimmy tried to look busy checking sms in his cell phone.

Cut to:
Munching on my chicken biryani, sipping on my second beer, wathcing the match in a shady bar I asked Dimmy who was sitting opposite to me, for the dozenth time
Huh! How could Cheddi roll over a pillow?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Hello world

Evolution is some how a word that misleads you. It makes you think that
we are evolving towards something better.

Adding to it, We are self aware. This self awareness made us special and
superior to the rest of the species we were told.

But how does self awareness makes you superior? Thought is a by product of
self awareness. Does that make us superior? How and why? Why are we so sure?

What makes you superior?

You can build better buildings than an ant can?That makes you superior only if
the ant is comparing its hill with your building.But the ants dont care. You are
the one who is comparing.

What if the ant says,Hey I can trace food with my antenna thats 100 meters
away. You cant find that cookie crumble in your sofa.
What if the ant says, Hey I can lift a weight thats 100 times my body weight.
What if the ant says, Hey long before you thought of socialism, communism
and found religions, we discovered living a selfless life, to live for a society.

The thing is, your metrics for superiority are your metrics. Not the ants.
Ants dont even have metrics. Actually that makes them too superior because
you can NEVER beat them. No matter how complex a thing you evolve into.

The new age culture and science told you that you are superior. Western
individualism and I CAN, I WANT, I WILL and I AM cheese cake pop
philosophies flourished just because of that. They are pop. (In the same week
America discovered that Monica saved the wipes of Clinton's bursts in her
closet, thousands died in Gujarat. I dont need to tell which news made it to the
covers of TIME. Thats what pop is all about. What you like to see is what you get.)

This I AM thing took us too far.
This egoic I AM lets us say I AM right, this IS the truth.
We found religions that said I am right. You are wrong. So convert.
We found religions that said I am. You are not. So die.

In a way, we are just as preprogrammed as ants. They have antennae.
We think. Thats it. In terms of evolution we are no superior than a fly.
We might be a major impact on its direction with our devastation powers
as a species put together.

This self righteousness gave us right to kill every other living organism.
See, we can think. They cant. So, we have a right to.

We flourished because of our strengths. There is nothing wrong in it. Its one
of the fundamental qualities of life. To multiply. To be ruthless and to be
selfish. Always at the expense of another life. Thats how this system is built.

But, unfortunately multiplying doesnt mean 'better'. This must be just a blip.
A spike in the curve. Chance favoured us. Big ones died. Climate favoured.
Continents came closer.

Even then we were just the same. We co existed, related to and learned from
them. The more you trace back your folk tales the more you can discover how
humble our thought process used to me.

A mere two thousand years which isnt even a snap in an evolution year cant
make us superior. Actually nothing makes you ever superior than your fellow
beings.We are all same. With different qualities at different quantities. We are
just another possible outcome of this ever multiplying and morphing
gene machine.

On this day and at this hour, I am denouncing my attributed superiority. I am
accepting the fact that the ant thats crawling on my hand now is just as unique
and as important as I am.

I am saying, Hello world.

P.S: I hope that the other ant thats been hiding in my underwear right from
this morning gets these vibes and stops biting me.

Monday, October 11, 2004


Just playing with this new Hello thing that lets me post pictures directly to my blog. Posted by Hello

Monday, October 04, 2004

Love has no matter

I took two steps forward.
Cage moved forward with me.
Took two steps side wards.
Cage moved side wards.

I ran.
Cage ran.

I rolled.
Cage rolled.

She was there. Outside the cage. I knew I could never get her.
I guess she knew it too. But she stood there as if she was more curious about
what is going to happen than in seeing me out of it.

Why is the cage?
Because you want to get out of it.

They said time started the moment the bang happened. Before that, there was
no time. Before that, there was no matter. Because time as we know it is linear and unidirectional. They said, you cant peek past the bang, where no event was
ever measured.

If matter can neither be created nor be destroyed, where did matter come from?

Matter is the initial condition of the universe. You cant get past it.

Is there anything that can be created out of its own?

Everything is a morph. Just various instances of energy and matter. You cant
create new instances. You can only change the attributes. The sum of all
energies is always the same.

What about information? Where did it come from?

What do you mean?

This post never existed before. I CREATED it.

This universe cares a fuck about your post. It is at balance. You just spent
some energy to DO something. To run or to think, who cares? You just
converted one form of energy into another.

I created information. It can be consumed. Unlike energy, it need not be
reproduced for every consumption. It doesnt morph with every consumption.
It doesnt even know about consumption. It is independent of its consumption.

I dont know how many people are going to consume this information. This

information is going to be consumed, in other words created, in I dont know
how many peoples heads, for I dont know how long. Why cant I call every
consumption an instance? Something that was not there before?

In other words, in theory, a bit of information can be replicated infinitely in

every corner of the universe. Number of replications or instances do not directly
or indirectly draw energy from the original bit.

Where is it going?

I am saying that the energy sum of all the bits of information that is ever
created from this post is higher than the energy required to create this post.
This is a clear contradiction to the law of the universe. Energy can neither be
created nor be destroyed. So I am wrong. But for me to be wrong, I must have
created anti Information for every instance of information I created.
Something of antiBit sort.


If the cage exists as long as I want to get out of it, if antiBit is true, it should
disappear if I dont want to get out of it.

He laughed to death.

Ok, this is your last time. I am not going to let you out of the cage anymore. Neither excuses nor theories are going to work next time.

The cage disappeared.

She stretched her arms.

I ran towards her. To love her and to make love to her.