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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

A dinner that never was.
Ek Chicken Biryani aur Do Kingfisher.

After a long time Eddie and his wife Gello invited me and Dimmy for a dinner.

Dimmy and I went. Eddie's 12 months kid Cheddi embraced, kissed and gladly welcomed us in. Gello said Hello. Dimmy and I praised her kindness and her saree. We admired her beauty and remarked how lucky Eddie was.

Gello smiled till her lips touched her ears. She asked us to be comfortable and went into the kitchen to make an additional dish for us. Eddie, Dimmy and I were watching cricket on TV while the kid tried to draw our attention to him. We ignored him. The kid went into the kitchen and started bothering Gello. Gello came out and asked Eddie to put the kid to sleep. But Eddie was too busy watching cricket. So I took up the job. I told the kid a story. I told the kid how a sparrow makes its nest. I told him about the mating calls made by frogs, by making those sounds. He laughed and laughed and suddenly fell asleep. Proudly I handed him to Eddie.

Eddie went inside his bedroom and put the kid on the bed. He annouced, Gello, I put the kid to sleep. Gello shouted back, Be careful. Watch him. He rolls in his sleep. We were back to watching cricket. Gello would shout from the kitchen every two minutes, Are you watching the kid. Eddie would shout back, Yes and Eddie would run into the bed room to check the kid. It went on for about twenty minutes. I got tired of Eddie and gave him a brilliant idea.

Why dont you put pillows on both sides of the kid and save us from this disturbance? Eddie beamed and did exactly that. By then Gello finished making Chicken biryani, Raitha and went onto making Sambar and papads. India was winning. Gello would shout from the kitchen every two minutes, Are you watching the kid?. Eddie would just sit in chair and shout back Yes and then would give me that you are my best buddy look and then I would nod back in agreement.

It went on for another ten minutes.

Then we heard this sickening thud. Yeah the thud of a soft baby's head falling from a good three and half feet high and hitting the marble below is sickening. It took Eddie couple of seconds to register what had happened. His face went extremely pale after he realized. He jumped into the bedroom. Dimmy and I got suddenly uncomfortable. With in couple of seconds we heard the kid crying at the top of his whatever little lungs.

I went into the bed room for the rescue. The kid thing totally turned red and opened his mouth so wide crying, I could see the food he had for dinner. Eddie was shivering. We came out of the bedroom and my legs trembled when I saw Gello.

Gello looked pure anger. Her nose turned red. Her face turned red. Her eyes turned red. She was so angry that she was gasping for air. She hissed Give me the kid and snatched the crying kid from Eddies hands. Eddie became clueless.

Wow! I didnt know he can roll over a pillow. Ha ha ha. He said.
You son of a triggerless gun. You good for nothing couch potato. All you ever do is sit and watch that stupid TV. There isnt a thing that you can ever do right. Gello shouted.

We were least prepared for this outburst. Eddie couldnt stand this humiliation right in front of our eyes. His macho image crumbled like a crumbling sand castle. He got angry but had the sense to not to show it.

He said something like, He is my son. He is strong enough. When I was kid I fell from a two storied building.
Ok, now we know why your brain is half dead. If you ever fucking call him your son again, I am going to kill you. You never was a good husband. You never talk to me. The only thing that ever matters to you is your office, your friends, your stupid cell phone and cricket. I cant stand this anymore. I am leaving. Sob sob.

Eddie looked half dead for sure.

Then I made my move. I said, Gello, pillow was my idea. Not Eddies. Its my fault. Wow, look the kid stopped crying. Now can we just move ahead and enjoy that biryani? Hmmmm...it smells so good.

She simply said, No biryani for you.
I looked at Eddie. Eddie looked at Dimmy. Dimmy tried to look busy checking sms in his cell phone.

Cut to:
Munching on my chicken biryani, sipping on my second beer, wathcing the match in a shady bar I asked Dimmy who was sitting opposite to me, for the dozenth time
Huh! How could Cheddi roll over a pillow?

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