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Sunday, February 19, 2006


A lovely thing to see:
through the paper window's hole,
the Galaxy.

Cuddlers and cleaners

Let me start with a cliche. There is a lot of difference between having sex
and making love. Girls need love and boys need sex. Thats generalization.
Yeah there are always exceptions. There are different kinds. Let me freeze
time. Rewind. Let us go the micro second during which the guy comes.
Now let me open his mind for us.

Hmmm..that was not bad. Last time it was 7 minutes. I think (looks at watch)
its 9 minutes now. She clearly had two orgasms. Good. Mmm sucks couldnt
try doggie position even this time. Bah. There is always next time. I wonder
how she enjoyed this one.
Did you like that one baby?

I wonder how she liked it. Man! making this condom sink is a tricky job.
Last time it took me three buckets of water. Should I let her use the toilet
first? Let me be a gentleman.
Did you like it? Also, baby, you wanna use the toilet first? (I am a gentleman)
*Disbilief in her eyes* (I cant believe this. He is a pig).

Hmm, now do I wear my underwear and walk to the toilet or just walk naked.
*Looks inside the blanket* Eeew, thats the ugliest thing I had ever seen. Let
me wear my underwear. I hope she liked my undie. They come with clinically
proven anti microbial lining. I wonder how she liked this one.
Sweetie, did you like it?

God! dont tell me, I spent all my money for THIS. Fuck, it lasted less than a
minute. Her boobs are not as big as I thought. Why in the hell did I order that
fancy dinner? We should have settled down with a pizza. For this kind of money,
I can as well fly to Bangkok. Bang Cock. Hey, thats funny. I wonder if she
likes giving head. I mean, if she doesnt, I am ditching this bitch. She doesnt
smell all that good. Btw, I wonder how she liked it.
Did you like it?

Sigh. Wow. That was cool. Btw, this also is the twelfth one this month. Boy am
I on a scoring spree or what? I like her. She is so soft. I like her moans. Hey,
I am getting hard again. Shall I go for the thirteenth? Hey, today is Friday. That
makes it 13th on the Friday. Hey thats funny. Hey, I can call my dick,
Frankie the thirteenth. Hey thats more funny. Btw, I wonder how she
liked it.
Cutie, did you like it?
Yes my man. You were amazing.
Did you know we just scored a dozen? Ha ha.
You are counting?
I hate you.

Should I still keep it inside. She still looks likes she is enjoying it. Let me give
her some more thursts. She is amazing. I love her so much. Yeah, there, she is
coming. Hold it for her boy. Wow, she is amazingly graceful. There she is
opening her eyes. Look at those beautiful eyes. Look at the pure magical love
she has in her eyes. Sigh. Do I deserve her? I am so lucky.
I love her.
I love you. *Kisses on her lips for a long time*
I love you too baby.
Baby, I am never going to let you go. You are mine. *Hugs her tight*
Me too, love. *Gets hugged*
Btw, did you like it?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Smiley meets Ram Gopal Varma

It was Saturday afternoon. No one was at my office except Zee, Shredder and I.
Zee was lazying in the sofa and I was playing dead with Shredder.
Zee suddenly asked
What are your plans for the evening?
Dunno. If you are staying back, I will have couple of drinks and go home. Else, I will
go home straight and sober.
There is a cocktail dinner at Taj Krishna. You want to join?
No. No way.

The day before I bought a key chain with glowing LEDs. I was showing it to
Shredder and then hiding it. He gets frustrated pretty fast when he is losing.
So he was begging me to show that zing zing thing to him.

Zee said, Hey Ravi just called. I need to go to the party.
Who is Ravi?
Ravi Teja.
Why is Ravi Teja attending this party?
You are crazy or what? It is his party. Its got something to do with his latest
movie Shock. Ram Gopal Varma will be there too.
Gee Zee. Can I join?
Sure you can. But you need to take a bath. Lately you smell like a dog.

In the shower I suspected that Jyothika might attend the party too and did my
Smileys Quick Fix Ab exercise (Just in case). I wore jeans, Calvin Klein T and my
new shiny metal Espirit watch. (I wrote the previous sentence just to tell you about
my new watch. It rocks. My friend loveAll gifted that watch to me two weeks back).

On our way we picked Dagger and reached Taj.
It turned out to be an audio function with cocktails and dinner later.

This sucks man. An audio function? Dagger got frustrated.

There were the usuals. Puri Jagannath, Raghavendra Rao, Suresh babu, Rajamouli
etc. But nothing prepared me for the arrival of Ram Gopal Varma. There was certain
uneasiness till then. With Ramu’s arrival the whole auditorium got charged up. He
was mobbed by the press and everyone from Tollywood wanted to shake his hands
and to get a picture with him. There is an enigmatic energy surrounding him. He was
charismatic in his own way and knew his way through.

Audio function was over in a swift fifteen minutes. Everyone mobbed the bar
counter.There are always three kinds of people in this type of parties.


Zee and I managed drinks and some quick snacks. We secured a comfortable
area to stand too. Dagger, Kyonki and Rocky joined us. Soon Ravi Teja joined us.
(Dagger, Zee and Kyonki are good friends of Ravi Teja, the hero of the film).

Ravi is energy personified. There is no difference off screen. My eyes were rather
fixed on an itemNumberBomb. She did a number in the film. There was another
beautiful female who was a little on the plump side in a bright red saree. She was
sexy. She was also shy. Clearly not from the industry.

A lot of young girls were taking pics with Ravi and his autographs. Bomb was
with an oldie. There were going everywhere together.

I wonder how much bomb charges for a night.
30-50k. But she must have been already booked. Dagger came in handy.

By the time I finished my second Bacardi rest of the dudes finished four. Most of the
folks finished their dinner and left. We got a little high. I spotted this dude Jeeva.
(Chandraswamy in the movie Sarkar).

Zee, lets talk to Jeeva.
Jeeva was gulping whisky. I walked to Jeeva and shook his hands.
We want to talk to you. As a matter of fact, we would be cool if you join us.
Jeeva joined us. Zee started.

You wont believe what I am going to say.
Jeeva looked curious and puzzled at the same time.
Whatever I am going to say is going to come from my heart. Not from my mouth.
Say it.

Zee is a fan of yours. I lied.
Zee thumped his chest and then placed his hand on Jeevas shoulder.
Eyes. Your eyes man. Your eyes. Zee remained silent after that.

Thats all Zee wanted to say. I helped Jeeva out of his open mouth.
You know what is the thing that we remember about the movie Sarkar?
You know what is the first thing that strikes whenever someone mentions
Krishna Vamsi?
You know a villain who can do comedy as well as a rape?
Don’t know.

Dagger loved what was happening. He joined. My grandma used to tell me that
artists are Gods children and rest of us is adopted. Your life is blessed.

Jeeva got fully charged up. He started talking about divinity in acting and how his
job of acting is his puja to the God.

Sir, long time back I saw an illegal clipping of a Malayalam movie. It was a clip of
you raping a girl in a hotel room. It looked so original. I asked.

Jeeva gave me a Chandraswamy look.

Meanwhile Ramu walked by. A girl who looked like just out of her teens was waiting
to meet him. I was observing that girl. One of Telugu artists spoke to her at length
before that.

Meanwhile Zee caught Lawrence. (Composer of Chiranjeevi’s famous Veena step,
Director of Mass and Style).

You wont believe what I am going to say.
Because whatever I am going to say is going to come out of my heart.
Not from my mouth.

Lawrence looked at me for rescue. I winked.

Zee thumped his chest. I am fan of Chiranjeevi. I saw your film.
You are a fan of Chiranjeevi too. We are brothers.

Meanwhile Ramu was getting physical with the girl. He put his hand around her
shoulder. Another Telugu star (Cant disclose the name) approached the girl and
whispered something in her ear. She looked a little nervous and not really into it.

I just couldnt stand it anymore. I walked to Ramu and looked into his eyes and said,

Hi Ramu, I am Smiley. I love your films. I am so glad I met you in person. Then I
looked at the girl and winked at her. She looked at Ramu. I shook Ramu’s hands.
He just said, Thanks. He was oozing power that was intimidating. I walked back.

Zee and Dagger were explaining Gist about how they have got rights to a dinner
with Shah Rukh Khan and wondering how to cash it. Gist was assuring them that
if they can pull Preity Zinta he can sell it out.

The girl was wearing a sleeveless. Her skin still has the radiance of a girl and her
chin is still filled with baby fat. Ramus seasoned hand on that shoulder, sucking
her into the matrix, looked like a metaphor to me.

Bomb left. Red saree left. Teenage girls were going gung ho taking pictures
with starts.

Its going to be a long night. I thought. I waved my hand for an extra drink.

Saturday, February 04, 2006


Hooters in India .
For us Southies, even their 911 chicken wings wont do.


Ta is the sound you make by pressing your tongue to your upper
jaw and releasing it at once.

Ta is also the sound you automatically make when you eat the lemon
from a lemon pickle.

This morning my mom made two chapati, cabbage curry, spinach dal,
rasam, pulihore and pongal, along with carrot pickle for my meal. I ended
the meal with an extra helping of curds and pulihore. When I thought it was
over, my mom gave me pineapple pieces cut like crop circles.

When she asked me about how the meal was, I said