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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Bodi, Turture and a bloody cock

Last week I was on a vacation.I was back at my village.
Going there always had been a time travel for me.

Everything slows down in my village. That includes time
and mind.

I was surprised to know how much I am a part of that place,
in the lives of the people and their memories.

I have been hibernating and didnt meet most of people in the
last several years.

They all still remember a lot about me.

They are still unconditional when it comes to love.

Some highlights:

1) I once fell in love with our village barber's daughter.
Her name is Bodi.(I think I am still in love with her.
I think after Thrisha, she is the most beautiful girl God
ever made). She is not around anymore. Someone told me that
she was sold to some Dubai guy. My heart broke. Luckily for
me, I met my village Dhobi's daughter on the last day and
fell in love with her.

2) My cousin has a five year old kid. He cant say 'ra'.
He instead says 'la'. Lets call him La Kid. Another cousin of
mine has another er..a kid too. He cant say 'ka'. Instead
he says 'ta'. Lets call him Ta Kid. Unfortunately my real name
contains both ra and ka in it. So, it was fun with them.

I played cricket with these two kids. After I won (duh) the
game,

:-) : Ok kids, smiley is in a mood to treat. Tell me what you
want.

Ta Kid: I want Turture.
La Kid: Me too. Me too. Tultule. Tultule.
Ta kid: Yeehey. Turture. Turture.

:-) : ??? Dudes. What is this Turture stuff?

After five minutes of exhaustive deciphering and with the help of
Ta Kid's mom I realized that Ta Kid was asking for a silly snack
called 'Kurkure'.

3) My village is famous for cock fights. (Opp to hen). This time
one of those Nehruvian, socialist, secular, progressive, animal
loverist SP (Police) ordered a strict ban on the fights.

Everyone who knows the history of Andhras know that we love these
fights. Actually two of the famous battles in our history were
over these fights. (Bebbuli and Palnati). Everyone who anything
about our community knows that we love our vices.

My father's elder brother has more than five dozen cocks. (Ok,
girls, stop drooling). He was enraged. The president of the village
was enraged. Three of the local MLAs are his best buddies.

That night he met them. They decided to go ahead and conduct these
fights, no matter what. SP warned. He increased the basti.

One of the MLAs is pretty close to the home minister. MLA informed
the minister that he would rather get arrested than die an
infamous death in this region.

Home called SP. SP said fuck off. So for the first time in its history
my village slept without seeing the fights on sankrati. I slept
without eating that mother of all 'pandem kodi chicken biryani'.

Home minister called the CM next day. CM got a clear message. Either
you let our cocks fight or we let you down in the upcoming elections.

CM said, what the fuck man? Let those fucking cocks fight. Home minister
said, what the fuck is wrong with you SP? Let those cocks fight.
SP finally accepted a bribe of 5,00,000 (five lakhs), but still being
an animal lover, rested at home on a sick leave the next day.

And that day, my village celebrated. Blood spilled. Half of the
cocks died. Shit loads of Money changed hands. Gallons of alcohol
was consumed. Many of the lower caste virgin women were unvirgined.
Prostitutes danced. The local MLA and president were zindabaded
for keeping the tradition and gaurding the honour.

I had my share of chicken biryani. (Ok stop giving me that
Nehruvian, socialist, secular, progressive, I-hate-you-types look.)

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