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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Smiley’s Dirty Jokes Dept.

In association with

Smiley’s Short Story Dept.


Male Pride

Before kingdoms emerged and long before tribes were formed, there were
thick and deep tropical forests in southern India. There lived giant elephants
and tiny ants in harmony. Giant elephants had giant itchy butts. They loved
scratching their big butts against the trunks of big trees.

The Elephant

Elephant loved scratching its butt against trees. Ooomm, aaaah, uuufff.
She would go in pure bliss. But that day she got a little bit out of hand and
rocked the tree so hard that the beehive on the top of the tree fell right in
front of her.

The Bee

The bee worked hard all its life to make a decent living and settle down with
his favourite girl. He worked eighteen hours a day for two years and built the
beehive. He flew 24 hours a day for two weeks to attract his favourite girl.
When the girl fell, he made love to her for two consecutive days. She got
pregnant and filled beehive with little bee kids.

That day a fat elephant with an itchy butt scratched a little hard and killed his
whole family. So the bee leapt for the butt and stung it so hard that it got locked
into the pachyderm. It kept on stinging.

The Bird

The bird had been curious about everything right from its childhood.
It always woke up early and ate its worms early. It always flew into the
unexplored territories and always stood first in trying out new things
and new styles and new combinations.

That day it saw an elephant running wild with a red butt. It got curious and
flew near the butt and took a closer look. What he found was a bee stinging
the butt so hard that the elephant was crying puddles and pools.

So it asked the elephant,
Sweetie, whats wrong?

The elephant said,
Please get rid of that bee. I will do whatever you want me to do.
Sure deal sweetie.
The bird in one swift move plucked the bee deep from the butt and ate it.

The elephant got so relieved that it licked the bird and said
Now tell me, Oh the one who flies, what is that you want?
Oh the one with big butt, I always wanted to fuck an elephant, doggie style.

The elephant thought on it for a while. She was a virgin. But whats a little birds
tiny prick gonna make any difference. She thought.

She lifted her tail and let the bird in.

The Monkey

Monkey right from his childhood was never satisfied with whatever he had.
He always wanted to have more and exotic. He ditched his loyal wife and
loving kids and stayed alone a tall coconut tree just because they got boring.

That day a strange thing happened. A big elephant stopped under the tree and
a tiny bird started fucking the elephant from behind. The monkey got such a
huge hard on that it started masturbating.

As the birds movements got faster so did the monkey’s hand. The elephant
was grazing.

The Pride

Oooh. Oooooooh. Oooooooooooooooh.

The bird started hitting harder and harder.
The monkey got shafter and shafter.
In the frenzy monkeys hand hit a coconut.
Coconut straight down fell on elephant’s head with a huge thump.
Elephant shouted so loud that the whole jungle heard it.

The bird oblivious to what happened stopped fucking, opened its eyes and
from the behind shouted towards the elephants ear
Oops. Did it hurt dear?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello World