Dumb and Dumber

I can never be sorry enough because these incidents havent died yet.
I know I will have to live with them. They will only die with me.

Dumb

Long back, I used to work as a Y2K consultant for a Fortune 100 company.
Women in general are considered to be hot in that region. But Sharon was
hotter. (Thats her real name). Sharon a pretty hot black origin with a latino
skin pretty much used to set the cubicles on fire. Needless to say we all used
to fantasize about Sharon. Sharon, just like any normal American girl, used to
be a lot friendlier than, just like any normal hostile Indian girl.

One day Sharon came to my cube (Needless to say, she was pretty dumb
when it comes to programming. I used to occassionally help her with
MVS and IMS), glowing, looking just too special.

She was all smiles.
Smiley, today is my birthday.
I was in the middle of something. I thought about it for a while.
It took me sometime to absorb her presence and the news.
Meanwhile, she got a little offended with my perplexed look and said,
Smiley, its my birthday!

I was like, Hey, am I missing something here and continued my look.
She said, Hmph.
Gee, I scratched my head and said, So?
(I actually meant, So, what am I supposed to do, in a way to actually know
what am I supposed to do).
I think I am not that special to be treated special on my birthday. !!
And she walked away.

Even years later, I feel bad about it. :-) Last week I called a friend at
that company to get her email id to say sorry to her. She left two years
back.

Dumber

There used this really cute and really hot hot chick at Starbucks. Then I was
working as Java Developer for another Fortune 500 company. My routine used
to be simple. Buy coffee at starbucks and smile at her. Soon we developed some
kind of commeraiderieee whatever, you know that word right?

Her smile was pure. Pure American, Christian, Naive, Cultured smile.
Good morning. I am guessing its a Latte and a biscotti.
Yeah.
Its Three dollars 45 cents and here is your change. Have a good day.
You too.

Needless to say, in my fantasies we got married and everyday woke
up to her pure smile and a tasty starbucks coffee.

One day I got into my office elevator and pressed my level 4 button.
When the door was about to shut she entered inside.
I looked her and nodded.
She gave me that pure smile again.
I started looking at the walls and button panel.
After a moment she said,
Huh. I guess I am getting lazy these days.
And pressed her level 3 button.
I looked at her waist and thought she used to be thinner than this.
I thought may be she was getting lazy and sympathized with her.
Yeah, you have grown fat around your waist.
Needless to say, there was no conversation after that and the pure
smile turned into a frown so much so that I stopped buying coffee there
later.

It dawned on me after something like an year that I was supposed to ask
her (like a gentlemen) in the elevator, So which floor you want to go?

And yeah, I am never going to reveal my dumbest moment. Ever.