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Sunday, July 04, 2004

Delirium
Sorrows of a loser


I need love. I need love. I am too human for this stuff.

You don’t necessarily get what you need or want son.
You have to work with what you have at this moment.


Go fuck yourself, for a change. Not me. I am through.

He was disappointed in me for a while which made me more insecure.
He smiled after a couple of seconds.

I glanced at the lake. Her white sari, protected by couple of
stones from sailing Away was flying like a transparent flag, on
the shore. I could see her through it. She was swimming naked.
She looked like an artist’s dilemma. She didn’t blend well into
the background. Her fairness and smoothness came through like
A contrast. She enhanced the scenery at the same time. Her
curvaceous and feminine moves fit well with the waves.

She looked through and waved at me.

I turned my head away.

An acute pain emerged from inside out. I held my chest and hid
my face from him for sometime. I didnt want him to see my tears.

Son, this desire is going to burn you and kill you.

Who are you to tell that to me? Ha! Who the fuck are you?

The same irritating smile.

I grew impatient and walked away as he approached me.

She came out of the lake to pick her sari. She was worried that
I was leaving.

I started running away.

Stop. He said.

I was enraged. I turned back and started running towards him to
ram him. That’s when my head hit the cage.I didn’t notice it
before. I was separated by a cage from him and her. Blood
trickled down from my skull.

She held the sari in her hands and came running to me. She
put her hand on my head and started crying.

She held my hand onto her soft bosom.

At that moment, I knew I was complete.
At that moment, I knew I was incomplete.

I looked at him. Why this cage? Why?

Accept the cage. It is not the cage that is hurting you.
It is the desire to get out of it that is hurting you.


But why this cage?

It is you who created the cage with your desire.
It was never there.


Then I will destroy it with my will.

You will destroy only yourself.

I leapt with a ferocity that was not known even to me.
I shivered to have discovered such mounting and erupting
frustration within me.

continued.

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