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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Day 3
A few more little people.

I called them dudes. There were several of them in my mind. The most
significant of them were

ToDoDude
LookAheadDude
WorstCaseScenarioDude


The discovery of each individual dude was an Aha! Moment.
I didn’t regret them. Instead I looked them the way Snow White would
look at the dwarfs.

I realized that each one of the little dudes had responsible roles. They were just
performing their duty. Like life, thought fights for dominance too. Thought
tries to proliferate too. The dominant and winning thought defines our mood,
decision, personality, happiness or sorrow at any given moment.

In my case I realized that around 60-80% of my back ground buzz in my mind
on a day to day basis is due to these three little dudes.

ToDoDude: He is the one who listed all the To Dos which LookAheadDude
runs through every now and then. (The more complex your ToDo is the more
worried is LookAheadDude and more often he run through them.)

LookAheadDude: Dude, Dude, by 11:00 we have to finish this and have
lunch. Yeah, lets cut down on rice this afternoon and hit on rotis. That makes
us less sleepy in the afternoon session. Btw, have you seen that
TooDeterminedDude ? He had eight rotis yesterday. Man! Then take a nap.
Oh by the way, we have to check the laundry on our way. Get back to
meditation from 1:00 and 2:30. Oh yeah, I have to pick medicine for cold at
the counter at five. Yeah take a bath at 5:15. Let us better be there by that
time. Otherwise we wont get hot water. Hmm, back to meditation by 6:00.
I wonder what discourse do we have this evening. After the discourse,
go to bed. Lets make sure we sleep before the snoring dudes start their
snoring.

WorstCaseScenarioDude: At one time I was fantasizing a cruise from
Australia to somewhere. At midnight after making love to all the two dozen
Australian chicks on board I went to deck and started peeing in the sea. I
was mesmerized with the reflections of the moon in the sea while peeing into
it. Then WorstCaseScenarioDude created this great white shark which leaped
out of the water and snacked my dick. At another time, I was fantasizing sex
with a stranger in the New York subway and WorstCaseScenarioDude
mentioned AIDS and neither of us were carrying condoms.

At another time, I dreamed of merging my current startup with an
established firm and taking it to public, then Manmohan Singh died and stock
market crashed. When I swam, he increased the depth. When I took a flight,
he failed an engine. When I met my dream girl, he created a cage. When I
worked harder for greater success, he created ill health and failure. When I
trusted someone he made them backstab me. When I took my girlfriend to a
lonely ranch, he created a serial killer. I was amazed at how unaware of this
dude all the while.

(Later, it is this WorstCaseScenatioDude who helped me find my
‘Origin of Fear’.)

I should say, I was very successful in merely observing all these emotions
instead of identifying with them. I should also say that it kind of made me
feel good.

Continued…
Ok, you have little people in your mind. What else?
Can we skip like, to Day 10? Thanks in advance.
Hmm..once again, there is no blue font! Is it going to come back?
I heard of stuff like Adistana, Craving and Aversion before. What about that?

Day 4
The Art Of Women


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