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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Curious Kid and The Sex Starved Vinnies-Teen
A kid free bed and a huge mango


Me: “I am a dog man. (Thanks TP). Sometimes I turn into a dog.”

We stopped to eat Toddy fruit on the highway.

Me: Man, eating these fruits reminds me of oral sex.

Vinny sighed deeply again.

Later during the drive the kid asked me.

TCK: “Tell me a story.”

Me: “Once upon a time there was a princess…”

By the time, the young prince crossed the seven seas, killed the one eyed evil serpent and the dragon, and knocked on the princess’s door, we had reached home.

What happened next, TCK wanted to know. I kept stalling.

“Let me finish this mango.”

“Let me take a bath.”

Winny had made a bed for me in the guest room.

I suddenly said to the kid, “I will finish the story if you sleep in my room.”

She gladly agreed.

The Vinnies beamed at me. An electric charge filled the room. Winny took an extra long shower, wore a special white saree and put jasmines in her hair. Vinny almost hugged and kissed me. They decorated their bed with heart shaped pink pillows. Winny couldn’t stop blushing.

At dinner, Winny served me an extra helping of everything. Whenever she went into the kitchen to fetch salt, mangoes and papads, she playfully roughed my hair. She served me a huge mango. I offered it to Vinny. Will make you more potent, I said. Both blushed.

Good night.

I told TCK the rest of the story in my room.

“...and the prince and princess got married and lived happily ever after.”

I picked up my book ‘Interpreter of Maladies’ by Jhumpa Lahiri.

TCK: “Is that the end of the story?”

Me: “Yes.”

She wasn’t satisfied. She curiously looked at the hair on my chest and at my book. She pronounced Jhumpa Lahiri repeatedly. She wanted to know why Jhumpa couldn’t be Jampa. She wondered if Jhumpa had hair on her chest. She wondered if she would grow hair on her chest. She enquired why my pillow was in vertical position. Why I hadn’t covered myself with the blanket yet. Why I had a water bottle next to my bed. Why I wasn’t watching TV. When I was going to leave. Why I don’t have kids. Why I read books. Why I don’t like what I don’t like. Why I like what I like.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… Booooooooow..woooooooooooow” I barked.

She turned pale. I bit a pillow and viciously shook my head, “Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...”

With one mighty jump she landed at the door. She ran to her parents’ room and banged on the door.

TCK: “Open the door. I want to come in. I want to sleep with you”

I heard the door being opened. And then I heard Vinny trying to convince TCK that she should sleep in my room. TCK vehemently refused. I could see the shadows of the kid, Vinny and the door. Finally after a long pause, the door widened reluctantly, letting the kid in.

A few minutes later I heard Vinny’s artificial snore.

That night, I laughed so much that I almost puked my dinner.

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