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Thursday, March 18, 2004

Radha Kaise na Jale (Char)

"Drawing book? Oh, The Drawing Book..well I cant give it to you"

She was a little taken back.
"I am giving it to someone else"
"But you promised me yesterday"
"Sorry. I am giving it to Vasu. As a gift. He wont return it."

She literally shouted,
"Who? Vasu? Vasu?"
She looked at me with disbelief.
"Are you STILL friends with Vasu?"
"I am".

She shivered with anger and confusion. She grabbed my school box and said,
"But you promised me yesterday"
I took her hand off my box.

"Radha, my love, forget this appu gippu stuff. I drew a rose for you. As a matter
of fact, I have dedicated a whole drawing book for you, at home. If you ask me I
will draw whatever you want. I will teach whatever I can. Consider my poster colors
yours. Its ours."

But I never said that.

"Hand in hand, Radha my love, my hand is yours, forever.
It will draw for you as long as it can. But not THIS Appu".

I didnt do that either.

Instead I simply looked at the ground.

She stared at me for couple of seconds. I blinked hundred thousand times fractionally
looking at her. Tears came out of her eyes just like the proverbial 'flood gates

All she could muster up was,
"Chee", with disgust, humility and hatred. With that chee, she turned and left
sobbing loudly.

I started home. Stopped on my way at Vasu's home. He wasnt there. I gave the
drawing book to his mom and told her that the book belongs to Vasu.

That night my home strangely was filled with silence. I walked in a daze.
My mom couldnt believe her eyes and ears. I didnt show any interest in the food.
I hit the bed an hour early and under the blanket cried my heart out. I sobbed
until I got hiccups.

I was told that men arent supposed to cry. Not over a Radha's chee and not in front
of a mom. I knew I was man enough.

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