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Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dads driving moms crazy

My dad likes clear and complete sentences, no matter what context they are
presented in. He also likes to have complete information, no matter what the
situation is.

This often leads to interesting conversations.

Thats because my mom has a tendency to enter the room with a sentence
that doesnt fit the above criteria.

Mom: They just called. They are coming tomorrow.
Dad: Who just called?
Mom: My sister and her husband. For heavens sake we just talked about it.
Dad: How am I supposed to know?
Mom: They are coming tomorrow and they want us to..
Dad: Who just called? Your sister or her husband?
Mom: Why dont you listen to what I am saying? Its my sister.
Anyways, they want us to..
Dad: So how are they coming tomorrow? By train?
Mom: Of course by train. How else? You know my sister cant stand bus
Anyway, we have to...
Dad: Which train?

By the time my mom gets to tell my dad about the real piece of information
she usually half delivers because she is already upset.

Nothing is obvious to my dad.

Mom: My sister and I went to buy sarees this afternoon. I was short of money.
So I took some money from her.
Dad: From who?

Mom: How is the tea?
Dad: Which tea? (While drinking tea)

Mom: How is the curry?
Dad: Which curry? (While having the only curry in the plate)

My uncle is a little different. (My moms elder sister's husand.)

He has a tendency to repeat the crucial bits of information and to have a
contra entry for bit of information.

We were watching NDTV. A train got derailed.

Uncle: A train collision, I guess.
Me: The train got derailed.
Uncle: The train got derailed?
Me: Yes. Train got derailed.
Unlce: Train got derailed? I thought it was a collision. Dont you think its a
collision? Look at two engines. One of them is a diesel and other one is electric.
I think thats a collision.
Me: (reading the headlines of NDTV) So and so train got derailed.
Uncle: Yes, train got derailed. Crazy. It looks like a collision.
So, the train got derailed?

My other uncle is a lot different. (My moms younger sister's husband).

He basically speaks in an antakshari mode. Not exactly akshari but more like
a wordri. Lets call it anatapadari. He doesnt need your acknowledgement
either. While he is talking there is no chance for anyone at all.

Uncle: So what time are you leaving?
Me: I have to...
Unlce: What time do you usaully go? Commuting is a big problem here. Dont
you think so? Last time remember when I came here to visit Prasad...
You know Prasad right?
Me: I..
Uncle: Prasad is the elder son of the younger daughter of your grandfathers
second sister. They are in Hyderabad now. He left to US. Where did you work
when you were in US?
Me: I..
Uncle: But you people dont maintian relationships in US anyway. It took me
two hours to reach from Kukatpally to SRNagar. What traffic? What traffic?
What do you think? Is this because of all these IT people? These days bank
folks are giving loans to every Tom, Dick and Pussy. Btw, did you buy your
car on loan?
Me: Yes, I ..
Uncle: But they are not realizing. The roads are crowded and fuel prices are
increasing. I dont know how you people are managing? Are you managing
your finances well? Be careful. Save when you can. You have seen what
happened to Pattabhiram. Huh! You should see, his apartment
construction got stopped. What a shame. There is no money to buy even
cement now. Managing finances is the key. Btw, what time are you leaving?

Now, imagine all these characters at one place. Now they are at one place.
My sister Silly is hosting a nine day durga puja. (Today is the third day).
Serious stuff. Serious puja. Moms are going to recite slokas from morning
till noon. They eat only prasadam during these nine days.
Its a grand tradition in our family.

For these nine days, dads (all retired) have nothing else but to drive these
moms crazy.

For these nine days, moms are going to pray for the health of the family,
the world and a long life for their nut husbands.

Its a strange world, I tell ya.


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Anonymous said...

What a funny post. Coulnt stop laughing. :-). So, how are you my friend? - Babita

Prerona said...

nice post - brave sister :)
happy puja's to you!

:-) said...

Babita: know these dads...they are all getting old. I am doing good. How about you? Whats news?

Prerona: Tell you what? I like your name. Its mystic and feminine. Most important, its Bengali. Forget Puja. Game for a cup of coffee?

Hitanshu said...


cute stuff on how people pay attention in different ways. Have you ever studied the semantics of communication, and how the genders differ?

Will make quite a study bro. And damn useful in life, as well :)

:..M..: said...

You know how much I loved reading this post? :) Totally reminds me of talking to you. I miss Dushera and Diwali!! This is the second year in a row that I'm missing it. Wonder what that's supposed to mean.

Swathi said...

tat was too funny... i guess everyone has their own sets of such uncles n even my dad falls under one of the categories :))

:-) said...

Hitanshu man: Damn useful in life I agree. :-) No never did no studies. :-)

::M:: Thanks. That means you are out of the country. Wait till I make a Diwali post. :-)

Swathi: Yeah. Uncles are fun.

:..M..: said...

Oho! Thanks for the gyan, I now know who to run to when I've gotto get some 'real' answers.

I'm going to visit family for Diwali. And make gulab jamun at home. Cool or what?

I'm experimenting on you when I come to India.

:-) said...

Yeah baby. Real gyan for free. Just tune into Smiley. Gulab Jamun. Wokay. Let me practice my lines.

*my eyes closed*

Mmmmmm. What is it so sweet in my mouth.

:..M..: said...

LOL! Good practising. I hope that's your line for only the gulab jamun. ;)

:-) said...

Gulab jamun? What Gulab jamun? Wasnt that you?

:..M..: said...

Good boy. Now I like you more. :))

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