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Wednesday, February 04, 2004


Peeing is such a fun activity. Atleast, it used to be so in my childhood. Looking
back I realize now, how much I have enjoyed peeing.

Drawing Shapes: This is a privilege reserved for men. (I guess!!). If you are a
kid and if you are peeing on a ground it gets boring after couple of micro seconds.
You would want to do some thing. Drawing something is one of them. Drawing a shape
on the ground is akin to drawing something using your mouse. You dont exactly
get to draw what you wanted to draw, but its fun. Snakes, Rectangles and circles
are the most common shapes. With some collaboration and team effort we once drew
a train.

The farthest: If you and your buddy are peeing together on a daily basis, a contest
out of it is nothing but natural. Long before I learned the words 'velocity',
'gravity', 'angle' and 'viscocity' I have naturally discovered that at 45 Degrees
I (any one) shoot the farthest
. I discovered it by starting at zero (unlike many
kids who start at 90) degrees and moving slowly upwards. I have realized that
at a certain angle I peaked. I marked that angle. I used to win most of the contests.

In the pool: Most of my childhood holidays were spent at my granpa's place. Its
pretty rural. I learned swimming along with cows and some occasional buffaloes.
If you are a Buffalo you tend to do whatever you feel like doing. Buffaloes dont
have any rules. I learned marking my territory by peeing from Buffaloes. It also
feels good to pee in a pool. Even long later, when I used to swim at Bangalore
Corporation pool, I used to mark my territory.
When some of my friends
discovered that, they were awe struck. I frankly thought they were over reacting.
Dah, what is gonna a little pee make difference in such a big pool?

Shower: When I was in USA, I used to pee while taking bath. Not really pee, but a
little. You dont get out of the tub to pee while taking a shower, do you? Once again my
room mate over reacted. He, it seems have been taking traditional bath tub baths,
soaking on the same grounds where I peed. (I peed on his tooth brush several times,
dipped it in the LU several times and never told him about that).

In bed: Big deal! I used to wet my bed when I was a kid. I always used to get a
dream in which I used to pee. After some time I used to realize that I wasnt dreaming.
My mom used to make me sleep alone in the hall. I never really felt bad about that.
But like one time, we went to Grandpa's place and almost all of my cousins were
there. All my little cousins wanted to sleep with me. ( I mean next to me. I used
to be a very good story teller.) My mom told them all that I might wet my bed. My
star status immediately bottomed and I spent the rest of the vacation humiliated
by my 6 year old cousins. I was 12 then.

After Sex: Men have many problems. They dont discuss their problems often. One
of the difficulties men face is, peeing after having sex. A man's penis is a
tube like thing. Occasionally it gets hard. Its actually a good organ to
pee through. It acts like a very good pipe. But after sex, it acts like a
Unlike Buffaloes, humans have to pee into a hole whose diameter is
limited. That makes the job tough. Also, it is very hard to bend an erect penis.
If you try to pee with an erect penis, you over shoot. Since bending an erect penis
to an angle less than 90 is a tough job I usually do stuff like, "What would it
be like having sex with Hillary Clinton?" or "I wonder how much is 13 multiplied
by 27 and the result divided by 19". That does the job.

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