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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

At the other end of your blanket

Rated: Yawn

Just with in couple of days of Shredders arrival, my fantasies of my dog
fetching me beer and peanuts got distorted with lots of reality. Actually,
got replaced by, me cleaning his feces and puke, running behind him,
hiding my-socks, shoes, cell phone charger, coffee mugs, cushions, pillows,
(re) making the tent for him, making sure not stepping on him and on
his urine.

By fifth day he looked like a prodigal child. He doesnt respond to my calls.
He doesnt listen to me. All he does is eat, shit, shred and bite. Of course,
sleep. He absolutely refuses to sleep alone. He bothers Srinu during the
nights. (Srinu eventually shifted into Kitchen). That’s when my nephew
came to my house, saw shredder, fell in love with him and said,
I want him. I said, Take him.

The next day, I gladly packed the tent, the food, the toys and Shredder
and knocked on Sillys door. Silly looked perplexed. Here, your son wanted
him. I efficiently and quickly tied Shredder in her balcony, gave her
instructions and left. Actually I left to a different city to attend an annual
meet. I came to know that Shredder accommodated Silly well and became
a family member in just two days. According to Silly, he is the nicest dog.
But things were not destined to happen that way. Someone close to Silly
died the next day and the entire family had to leave and I got a call.
(I was in a different city). I called couple of my friends and instructed them
to pick this funny looking black patched dog from my sisters place and keep
him with a family for couple of days. Thats what they did.

For the next two days, Shredder didnt eat a single grain. Not even his
favourite Royal Canin. He cried through day and night. I got more than two
dozen calls because he was also going through diarrhea.

I drove back. Collected him and brought him home. I hand fed him. He ate.
That, some one so small and selfish could distinguish who was feeding him,
kind of surprised me. Shredder, kind of won my respect.
May be it was curiosity.

With in just four five hours Shredder was truly home. I know a thing or two
about animal stress. So, I understood. Shredder continued to bite and rule my
house. Unfortunately for him, I read couple of articles on the net about
alpha male and show him who is the boss stuff. On that night, the next day
morning, for a full four hours I tried to tell him that I am the boss. Some how
he didnt get it (Looking back, I didn’t get some of what he was telling). He
continued to fail to understand not to crap or pee inside the house. His worst
nightmare came true that night. I took him inside my bedroom, took my
leather belt out and shouted to him. Listen. He ignored me. His ears still
stood out in pride. Whack, came down the belt. His first reaction was
disbelief. He is a furless dog. It must have hurt a lot. Listen. I shouted.
Whack. He gained his senses and ran to a corner. You will go nowhere.
I shouted. I held his collar and dragged him to the middle of the room.
Listen. I shouted. His ears were in a submissive mode this time. We stared
at each other for a long time. You will listen to me from now on. I told him.
And you will respond. I added.

Things changed a lot after that. Within two days he learned not to pee or poo
inside the house. But he still continued to bite and ignore calls. One of his
favourite spots is the my travel bag that lies under my bed. He loves
crawling into that corner and sleeping on it.

Soon I realized that he is actually a smart dog. He has an amazing range
of low grunts and whines. Remember, he is a French Bull dog. He doesnt
bark much. He makes this Weee…weeee…which can be translated to
Untie me, I want to play. He makes this Hissss weee hisss weee..which can
be translated to Stop tickling me. Ha ha ha.

He makes this hwwwiieeee….Please dont disturb me, I am sleeping.

He also has a wide range of looks. Sometimes his looks can be spooky.
He also has a wide range of body expressions. The best is when he walks
to you and rolls on his back to expose his belly and looks at you.
He is saying, Yo, scratch my belly.

It struck me a little later, but I really didnt understand why we are
supposed to be more intelligent than dogs. I seriously dont think so.

We formed a true bond when Shredder got super sick. He got food poisoned.
He became a skeleton in two days. I let him sleep with me those two days
and talked to him a lot. Shreddy, you are strong boy. Its alright. You will
be fine.
He used to sigh with lots of self pity in his eyes. It took him a week
to recover.

Another threat to our relation came from the management of the
apartment. They said pets are not allowed in the apartment. Now,
shredder stays in my office. Shredder misses me a lot. I miss him a lot.
I never disciplined him beyond, Sit, Stop.

Guess what? I am moving next month. Yeah, to accommodate this funny
looking dog in my life.


Earth Monkey said...

Smiles, fucking bullshit appartment it is. No pets allowed? whadaya... tell them to fuck themselves (and them hot babes, well they can fuck me :D). You paid good money na? If they still bother you, tell them they'll suffer the wrath of the Penny man... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Shredder, Woof!!!

Leela said...

I knew it. I knew it. The last post WAS about you and Shredder.

But seriously dude, belting the dog?? I think you need better books on dog training. A smack (not to be mistaken for a kiss!) on the nose is usually recommended.

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

hey...liked ur post...but u belted ur pooch....c'mon... on principal i cannot allow myself to like u...altho i still really like the blog.

Yep, a lil whack on the nose wit a newspaper ought to do d trick.

:-) said...

dude: Yeah...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Shredder is sleeping at my office. allInOneSrinu is his company lately. Yeah some apartments suck.

baby: Need I say again that I dont mess with shredders. :-) Bah, you civilized people, belting a dog is part of showing who is the boss.

The Desi Nole said...

Next time just hit him with your hands (not hit hit more like a firm tap) they understand my friend.

And good luck.

Invisible said...

I like your post, makes me smile :), also makes me think of my dog back home. oh yeah, it usually takes a lot to change his mood from I-m-the-boss-here to being remotely submissive.but then they just are too cute and innocent to be angry with for long,no?

Anonymous said...

as someone who loves dogs and has brought up more than my fair share, i just wanted to tell you that for dogs, you, as in the owner are their family and they grasp on to that pretty quick. So separation breaks their yeah shifting is a very good idea and please, please, don't hit him again...i know potty training a dog can be tiresome and takes time but they do learn finally...scold him, threaten him but don't hit him. There is nothing worse than the hurt in their eyes.
A tip: Next time you want to scold him, roll up a newspaper and thwack it on the ground loudly while scolding them...the noise scares them and they realise that if they dont obey, they might be getting it next...:) All the best

Twilight Fairy said...

ok, welcome to the dog world yet again! BTW I wanted to write since eternity about my dog and his various ways of communication (there are so many looks/barks etc)..guess I should get down to it too :)..

One important point - do NOT hit him with your belt. If you need to train him, whack him on his butt (with your hand). You dont want to become circus master from dog owner.

:-) said...

Desi: Yeah..suggestion taken. I belted him couple of times later. But lately I am confined to shouting and a whack on his butt with my hand.

Invi: Yeah..they melt your heart..

anon: Definitely will try

:-) said...

Fairy: Wow...didnt know about your dog. :-) Who is he? What is he like?

Anonymous said...

i can't beleive it. did u really belted ur shredder? i never thought u could do that.