Monkey, I think I have the toughest job in the world. Explaining
myself to a bunch of girls.
The reaction to my post Vaishali was rather strong.
So was the reaction to a comment I left on Megha's blog. The responses
made me laugh. And also think. So I left a comment there.
It got mysteriously disappeared. This post would have never
happened because I dont care about what ZZ, Huh had heh or Megha
think about me.
But I do care about what alpha, Leela or nonick think about me. When
the reaction was strong enough for my friend to email me saying
"Somehow I felt there was a certain insincerity when I read it. The
'Gross Smiley' act has become so much a part of you that it's hard to
believe when you mean otherwise."
I felt bad after reading it. (Hey surprise! Men have feelings too). But
I understood the gap I am creating with this Smiley style. I was also
surprised none asked me the required question "So what have you
done to better Vaishali's life?". Honestly I thought my readers are
smart enough to understand that I sympathized with Vaishali's
situation and helped her. I was wrong. Only Monkey and Patrix
looked like they knew me.
If I told you that after our first meeting Vaishali and I became good
friends, that I helped her financially with her health, that I
encouraged her to keep her girl in the school and helped her with the
school fees, that in our last meeting Vaishali broke down into sobbing
and I told her how much I admire her as a person, that even well after
an year every time I visited the manufacturer I made it a point to
visit her and encourage her, would I stand corrected?
I hope so.
Now here is my response to the dudes on Megha's blog (wait..I am trying
to recollect what I wrote on her blog)
My apologies for coming up with a bad example. That pinching butt stuff is
a bad example. I thought I was pointing towards an incident that happens
on a daily basis in this nation, to highlight the attitude behind that act.
Agreed. Raping is crime. Ogling is indecent. Pinching butt is vulgar and crude.
Smiling at is kind of ok. Using endearments is civic. I get it. I think everyone
should get it.
But why is this harassment as common as air in India? Why is it happening
everysecond to every mother, to every child in every street and in every
public place? Gurudwar to city buses why the butts are being pinched?
It feels good to thrash men. To condemn these barbaric acts. You think
a) there is something wrong with the upbringing of these men
b) all these men are emotionless beasts.
But that doesnt solve the problem. Why are men doing it?
a) They think they are having fun
b) Thats their 'making a move'
c) They are beasts who are taken over by their insincts
d) They think the receiving woman actually enjoys it
e) They dont understand they are making the other person uncomfortable
f) They dont care.
Whats happening on the receiving end?
a) In general women dont like it and dont enjoy it.
So where is the solution?
Make noise.
Make enough noise for the appropriate laws to be passed to punish harassment.
Make enough noise for the machanisms to be built to implement those laws.
Make enough noise for every girl child to understand 'harassment'.
Make enough noise to educate every girl child to understand how to react/
report to a harassment
Make enough noise for every uncle, teenager, rowdy, wise ass to understand
the scars they are leaving behind.
Make enough noise for every man to understand how devastating the
punishment would be if they get caught.
Blank noise is as good as no noise.
Make noise.
If I still sound insincere,
My organization is committed to the prevention of child abuse.
We regularly contribute to orphanages and education programs.
Not just contribute but monitor the implementation too.
I personally contribute to the education of three girl children.
If I still sound insincere, the 'Charity' and 'Charity Activities'
of my account heads are submitted to the government of AP
every year to make them tax deductable. You can always
browse them.
I want to be a part of this noise. That is the reason why I am
entertaining this conversation in the first place.
The only mature response I got was a private email which actually
tried to understand the situation. To quote her,
It will be interesting to see how you deal with the comments on your
blog about Vaishali.
blog about Vaishali.
I did, indeed, think of commenting. There is respect involved in flirting,
just that the hormones are too overwhelming for one to identify that.
The problem is that there is too much logic, explanation and the stating
of what is 'reality' as it may seem. Maybe men are not always thinking
about sex, maybe women are not always that touchy-feely. What's the
point in refining one's judgement of what men, women and this world
actually is? What's the point in analyzing the two genders so closely?
It yields nothing too great, excepting a sense of control and
understanding (hence, maturity). I believe that over-analysis and
generalization is a manner in protecting oneself in actually feeling what
they feel. So yes, you wanted to sleep with her..but is that all you will
identify? That men have a goal to reach (literally) and a benchmark
for their performance? Come on. You, Smiley, are a better man than that.
just that the hormones are too overwhelming for one to identify that.
The problem is that there is too much logic, explanation and the stating
of what is 'reality' as it may seem. Maybe men are not always thinking
about sex, maybe women are not always that touchy-feely. What's the
point in refining one's judgement of what men, women and this world
actually is? What's the point in analyzing the two genders so closely?
It yields nothing too great, excepting a sense of control and
understanding (hence, maturity). I believe that over-analysis and
generalization is a manner in protecting oneself in actually feeling what
they feel. So yes, you wanted to sleep with her..but is that all you will
identify? That men have a goal to reach (literally) and a benchmark
for their performance? Come on. You, Smiley, are a better man than that.
boobs.
10 comments:
There was a similar post on saltwaterblues blog da. Its in fashion these days. Anyway, I bothered to comment...
I'll quote myself and the reply. Lets see which hot chick wants to jump on me ;)
-------------------------------
What would you suggest, a written application?
ma'am you are hot and your boobs are yummy. may I grab them for a few seconds? pretty please...
Signed,
Penny
06/03/2006
I am not defending anybody actually. Sometimes I argue just for the sake of it :))))
-----------------------------
Two Penny: lol ... Y'know, I remember my buddy Jules (who, like you, enjoys arguing just for the sake of it) once telling me how he felt a tingling in his loins whenever a hottie passed by, and being the nice guy he is, he wondered if she might oblige him were he to be polite and ask her permission - a mutually satisfying arrangement, he called it. It was his arguement that unless you try, you never know how many women will actually say: "yes, okay, go ahead, but don't be too rough ... and only for a minute!"
Well, if it works it might just help in reducing the eve-teasing menace. But let's hear what the ladies reading this have to say :)
LOL Penny. Barring the 'sensitivity training' that we are supposed to be taking
I absolutely dont see anything wrong with your petition unless otherwise told "Hey dont refer to my boobs. I get hurt".
I loved blues reply. Actually I loved his blog. Heck how did I miss him all these days?
Hey can you make your bloglines public?
I haven't responded to your comment. And why the whining about your comment 'mysteriously disappearing'? Haven't you ever seen comment moderation? Published now.
Sweetie, thanks for not responding to my comment.
*Changing tone* ayyo, I was not whining about moderation. I seriously thought it was the fault of my browser. Didnt have an idea about moderation and stuff. Ok, now I understand why the counter is stuck at 41.
I am thankful for letting me speak. I am looking forward to more participation on your blog.
I have great respect for your blog, baby.
Oh, this continues. Now I feel bad. sorry dude, was a little rough on you the other day. I know men are in a precarious position sometimes and it's awful to be mistaken. Just hire an editor. Earthmonkey can take you far with his choice of words.
I have been accused of damning a whole nation and men in general in my post...which wasn't the point I was trying to get across. Oh well, you can't explain your shit to everyone...you'll end up being buried deeper. Just forget abt it and let normal posts roll.
BTW, Congrats on your Dream man! That's great news.
Nice post. Do you real feel you have to defend urself or the way u project urself? just asking.
alpha: Sigh. I feel much better now. Regular posts will roll. Thanks on the dream. what do we know? One of these tgid will be back to life. :-) Just one more left. :-)
prerona: I dont know baby. I was little edgy. I thought I should get it out of my system. Now I feel lighter.
looks like I should have left a stronger comment here to get my name featured in this "appease the ladies post"!! :p
I am coming to Delhi in person to apologize baby.
Your technique of a personal apology scares me!
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